I am going to have a little rant, just a little one.
I have never been a part of a very large family. I am adopted and no I am not crippled with issues about being adopted. I had a happy childhood with my adopted parents and brother. They are my family. In case you are wondering, yes I have met my natural mother (who is lovely) and my three natural brothers and sister. I have been very lucky with my upbringing however it was and is a very small family. I did not have cousins to run around with and family gatherings were always a very small affair.
Now I am part of a very large family with sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, distant cousins – I could go on. Not only are they my family they are also my neighbours. Next door is a three storey house with The Turk’s parents (at the rear), his older brother and family on level 3, his youngest brother and family on level 2 and another (estranged) brother on level 1. It is the estranged brother on level 1 that I will have my little rant about now (thankful that he cannot read English I might add).
In Turkey military service is compulsory for all men aged between 20 and 40 years. For those men without a university degree the service is 15 months and for those with a degree it is a six month service. On Sunday night The Turk’s nephew was leaving home to spend the next six months to complete his conscription. Like most Turkish families they threw a party and invited their nearest and dearest. There was a lot of music, drums and dancing. It was most likely a wonderful evening and I say most likely because we were not invited to this shindig and nor was anyone else in the family! Frankly I was shocked at this blatant rebuff. Daughter could not understand why she was not invited so she dragged me downstairs to watch the frivolities. I stood with Hurley (should anyone ask I was waiting for my dog to pee) before moving to the shadows only to find my mother in law behind her gate standing alone watching her grandson dancing. It nearly broke my heart (and it made me pretty darn angry).
The next morning I rang The Turk and yelled down the telephone at him. Why would his mother not be invited to the farewell? Actually why was no one invited to the farewell and while I am at it why have they not spoken to me since I arrived 8 weeks ago! The Turk’s reply was simple but was definitely not an explanation, “Fuck them!”
I am sitting here thinking of my mum and dad, wishing I could just give them one more hug or talk to them just one more time and here is a family who have no idea just how lucky they are.
Well no thank you.