Monthly Archives: March 2015

What’s in a name?

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Another quick one.

My friend took this photo and posted it in the “Expats in Mersin” Facebook page recently.  It speaks for itself.

kunt

So when Shakespeare asks, “What’s in a name?” the answer is a lot if your name is Mustafa Kunt.

His name is whaaattt????

“Must have a Kunt”.

Oh yeah I went there!

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“They’re called boobs Ed”

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No I have not flashed my boobs at some unsuspecting Turk here in Mersin instead I am going to get on my Erin Brockovich styled high horse and talk about something serious.  Boring!  Close the page and go back to your cat videos or photos of naked Kim Kardashian or whatever quickly because Janey is off on another tangent!

Starting off small I hate the fact that The Turk says all the fruit and vegetables are “organic” but I watch sprays and poisons being used by my neighbours on a daily basis.  The smell will waft up to our terrace and I know I am breathing in God only knows what type of cancer causing toxins.  Hate it!

blinkyWhat is worse is that I live quite near a chemical factory.  According to their website the factory manufactures “calcium ammonium nitrate and diammonium phosphate as well as fertilizer as nitric acid, sulfuric acid and phosphoric acid production”.  What are these things?  Who the feck knows as I failed 8th grade science but I am pretty damn sure that the yellow smoke that spews out of the factory at 3 in the morning isn’t good for your health and it is probably spilling its overflow into our waterways causing Blinky to mutate.  Perhaps if I serve Blinky up as Marge did then people will start to realise just how dangerous these chemicals are to our environment.

To go a little further on the subject of our water here in Mersin recently we had a water filtration system installed in our kitchen which, although incredibly expensive to install, in the long run will ultimately save us money.  It also means we are not lugging huge bottles of water up stairs twice a week.  While the system was being installed they tested our tap water for contamination and pathogens and I am calling it – it was putrid!  Interestingly they also tested a sample of our well water and I was surprised to learn that the well water is so dirty that it would be dangerous to even bathe in it which leads me back to the three eyed fish comment above.

What else?  Oh, yes, I know I have questioned this before but why are they building a nuclear power plant in a country where earthquakes are regular occurrences?  Did they not learn anything from Japan?  There has been a lot of interest in the legality of the approval to build this environmental disaster in the making and there are many current court cases on the dock regarding the legality of the Environmental Impact Statement.  Turkey’s Supreme Board of Judges and Prosecutors (HSYK) have replaced the judges overseeing the cases filed against the power plant although as the HSKY is frequently criticised for interfering in high profile cases I cannot see a fair trial any time in the near future after all money talks.  Should I point out that this power plant will be operated by a Russian company.  Hello?  Chernobyl anyone?

While I am finally climbing down off my high horse and adjusting my pants I just want to give you all a final example of stupidity – the proposed development at Gallipoli/Gelibolu.  I am appalled at the possibility of any development on this peninsular.  This should be a World Heritage site protected so future generations have the opportunity to visit, to learn and to pay their respects.  To my Aussie friends and followers spread the word and let your local representative know about this ridiculous approval.  The money that Turkey gains from Australian tourism would have to have some bearing on any potential development surely?  (See story here).

Ugh I have brought you all down haven’t I?  Sorry guys but I just shake my head at the ridiculousness of the situation here sometimes.  Everything is just so fecking difficult and it just shouldn’t be!

On a bright note a friend has just returned from Bodrum with bacon.  BACON!  Imma gonna eat bacon for breakfast on Saturday morning!  If life is bringing you down … well get a friend to bring you bacon and everything will be alright!

BACON!

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Oops I did it again

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It has been brought to my attention by you lovely people that I have not burdened you with my most recent exploits here in Mersin.  Honestly life has been busy and between the illegal building work, the constant rain, Daughter morphing into an obstinate teenager and The Turk driving me nuts I haven’t had a moment to sit down and write plus I am trying to concentrate on my novel – yes I am a frustrated (unpublished) author – perhaps the next J.K. Rowling – perhaps not.

In order to give you a quick Janey fix I will tell you about how I ended up (yet again) covered in shit after a night out in the Village.  This time it was cow shit not human shit but shit is shit and I am starting to question how these things happen to me – over and over again.

Last weekend the expats here in Mersin decided a get together was in order and a fish restaurant was chosen here in the Village as the venue.  I was ecstatic.  Not only did this mean that I was a hop, skip and jump from home it meant that I didn’t need to catch a dolmuş or two dolmuş or even three dolmuş (would that translate to dolmuşlar?) to get where I needed to go.  I merely had to walk less than 1 kilometre to the beachfront.  1 kilometre.  That’s all I had to do.  1 kilometre to the lokanta and 1 kilometre to get home.  I mean how hard could it be?

I guess it starts, as all good stories do, with alcohol.  Yes an expat night out means I go all out, so excited to be speaking English to a whole table of English speakers that I let my hair down and am out for a big night.  I was sensible though (in my own way) after all there was Raki (ick) as well as vodka jelly shots (and a vodka desert) but I stuck with my bottle of şarap (wine) that I brought with me.  Sadly though the first bottle was drained as was another … and another … and so by the end of the evening I was feeling very jolly indeed.

Walking home was very pleasant and one of the reasons why I love living here is walking through the village at night.  It is starting to warm up now, the stars were shining brightly and the smells through the village are just so delicious whether it be walking through a farm of freshly cut maydanoz or nane or passing a home where a family are listening to Turkish music as they enjoy the last of their mangal (bar-be-que).  The Turk decided to cut through one of the bahçeler (gardens) to speed up my drunken dawdling (and yes singing) and so we turned into a garden where they had recently tilled the soil for the next crop.

I have cut through this garden many times with My Hurley Dog and I am well aware of the cow shit that is piled high on the side of the grassy track.  In fact I have spent many an hour standing by the pile of cow shit as My Hurley Dog throws himself head first into it every. single. time.  What I did not know or perhaps had plum forgotten that the owners have dug a rather large hole in the grass immediately beside the poop.  On reflection I was bloody lucky I didn’t break my leg to be honest.  Anyway I turned to Daughter (who was feeling very jolly herself as she had enjoyed a sneaky vodka jelly) to watch out for the poop when all of a sudden the entire ground disappeared from under me.  It was as though I was being sucked into the vortex of a demon netherworld (which would make sense) but my fall was a slow one, slow enough for me to call out, “I think I’m falling” and for The Turk and Daughter to watch the collapse with glee.

As I fell I watched the pile of poop moving slowly towards me.  All I could say is, “Oh shit!”.  Yep it happened again although thankfully I am happy it was a dry poopy-poop not the human waste that chased me out of the long drop last time. Someone asked on FB whether Daughter captured this embarrassment on film and I am again happy to say no she did not for she is well aware of the unfortunate events that would occur if she ever crossed me publicly!  She and The Turk merely stood there laughing as I tried to roll out of the poop and the mud and pull myself back up.

hole 3

It took me 24 hours to recover from my night now and today I can examine my bruises that are forming a little more closely.  I am taking My Hurley Dog for a walk to the beach this morning however, honestly, I will not cut through the bahçe as a shortcut home.

Next time on Janey … in Mersin – my appointment with the Governor for my kimlik.  Stayed tuned.

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