Next Stop Masterchef

Since returning from Oz I have found that whatever Turkish that I did have seems to have all but disappeared, even my “Ben kırmızı bir kadeh sarap alabilir miyim” seems to be coming out wrong (haters don’t hate.  That is self taught Turkish right there folks).  In an attempt to throw myself back into the deep end of the Turkish language I have been watching nothing but Turkish television in the hope that by engrossing myself in the shows will help me pick up some words or retrieve the words that I have lost.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  It seems I’m never going to get a glass of red wine again am I?

broken wine glass 2

For the past week I have been watching the Olympics on TRT Sport.  I’ve seen the Aussies being annihilated in the swimming pool.  I’ve seen the Aussies crash and burn on the field.  Basically I’ve seen them feck up all over Rio.  Sorry?  You’re wondering how many Olympic medals I’ve won?  Fecking none OK!  I am a couch potato but I am couch potato in Turkish.

Anyway I’ve also watched the diving and the gymnastics and right now am engrossed in track.  Honestly that Usain Bolt is a fast feck isn’t he?  How’s this photo of him smiling at the camera as he ‘bolts’ to the finish line (see what I did there?).  And what about that poor Japanese pole vaulter whose Olympic dream was crushed by his peen.  Poor buggar. Never before has a member of the male species wished for a smaller manhood. Until now.  Turkey has won two silver so far in wrestling and weightlifting, and today Turkey’s women’s basketball are playing against Spain in the quarterfinals.

Usain bolt

But I haven’t really learned any Turkish so I turned it over to a Turkish cooking show.

Who doesn’t love the Turkish cooking shows?  They cook.  They chat.  They yell.  Dance.  Sing.  Masterchef is as boring as feck compared to a Turkish cooking show.  Today I made patetesli sigara börek and even though I already knew how to make them this time I made them in Turkish following a Turkish recipe!   Yah me!

potato pieI mean just look at these bad boys.  What did you say???  I can’t hear you over the deafening sound of my own awesomeness!

So if you need me I will again be in the kitchen attempting a Croquembouche.  I mean it’s obvious that I am an undiscovered culinary genius.  Seriously if I can chef it up in Turkish then nothing is impossible!

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7 thoughts on “Next Stop Masterchef

  1. I discovered your blog a few weeks ago & read solidly for a few weeks from the beginning only to find when I caught up to the present, that I had to go cold turkey (geddit) as you had gone awol! Luckily for the last week I have had the Olympics to distract me although the time difference is a bit of a challenge. I love that photo of Usain Bolt, he is such a factastic showman. Anyway you are back, yay!
    PS Masterchef is boring as fuck compared to ANY show.

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  2. Glad you’re back Jane- missed your insights on Turkish life while you were on hols – although I enjoyed your posts on stralia and Bali.

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  3. Soooooooooo glad you are back!
    Next time you are away for 6 weeks or so please give a warning so that I do not have to sit at my computer each day, with coffee, looking for your usual entertaining, informative, passionate, and sometimes extremely funny posts ( especially when talking about the Turk.)
    I absolutely love patetesli Borek and look forward to the recipe.

    Hope you both had a good holiday, and batteries are fully recharged.

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