I love to travel. I love to experience new places and things, but, before you arrive on your summer holiday or return to the comfort of your own bed, you have to endure the 9 Circles of Hell with mind-numbingly slow queues, some serious second base groping, flight delays, screaming children (and on occasion screaming adults as well), middle seat syndrome, out of this world turbulence and basically anything else that Lucifer could throw at you to ensure that your flight sucked. Big time!
I caught a flight from Tallinn, Estonia to Istanbul the other night with Turkish Airlines. I really like Turkish Airlines. The staff are good, the food is not entirely gross and the planes are in pretty decent nick. I mean I have been on some really dodgy airlines before but Turkish Airlines is not one of them. I’d give them a 4 star rating.
Getting to our seats Daughter immediately noticed that there was no television. OMG! What are you going to do for 2+ hours. I pointed at the little screen above our heads, “You can watch from up there.” She rolled her eyes. #FirstWorldProblems #SpoiledPrincess
As soon as the flight started they turned on the film “Batman v Superman” and I thought “Why not?” so I settled in for the flight while Daughter listened to 5SOS. The movie was OK. I mean I am not a fan of these types of movies but it was better than a trip to the dentist. Anyway 5 minutes before the movie ended – they switched it off – as we were coming into land. 5 minutes? Seriously? Did Batman kill Superman? Was Lois Lane saved? What happened to that big half mixed monster thingy? And who was that chick that got in on the battle? “Is she with you?” “No I thought she was with you”. Classic. These are questions that I need answered.
As we were disembarking I asked the stewardess did Superman die? She just laughed. Apparently I am not the first to ask that question.
Arriving in Istanbul we had the extended re-mix of layovers before our flight to Adana so I settled in to people watch. Remember the beginning of the movie Love, Actually? I love that scene with everyone running into each other’s arms at Heathrow Airport. Brings tears to my eyes every single time. This is not that. This is a bunch of grumpy, tired Turkish people (and a few random, and nervous, yabancı) all of whom would rather be anywhere else but at the airport at 1am.
While people watching I got to witness one man, angry at the world (or maybe he missed the last 5 minutes of Batman v Superman as well), grab one of those grey plastic containers as he passed through security and try to hit one of the polis with it. Soon other polis arrived on the scene and he was dragged away. He must have had one hell of a pat-down. This was not in Love, Actually.
Then there was the flight to Diyarbakir that was delayed for over 2.5 hours (sorry Onur Airlines there’s a reason why I never fly with you). People were going freaking nuts. As a bystander it was definitely something to witness. The poor ground staff were surrounded 10 deep with screaming Turks while just to the side was a woman holding a baby crying at the top of her lungs telling everyone that they are ‘not normal’. She must have pushed somebody’s buttons because then everyone turned on her and she retreated to a corner. This was also not in Love, Actually.
But the kicker was when we finally got into Adana airport at 4am and shuffled through to baggage claim. One middle aged lady knocked an old man with a cane over while retrieving her luggage and didn’t even look twice at him. No geçmiş olsun. No apology. Nothing. Yep pretty damn sure that wasn’t in Love, Actually either.
Like I said I love flying. Love the whole shebang but being in a Turkish departure lounge after dark is like being front row at WWF Smackdown!
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