From Good to Bad

How does a day go from being great to being absolutely shite?

Yesterday started as a great day.  Daughter had her math tutor come for an hour (thank you Capt. Awesome) and then I left to go and visit a friend on the absolute other side of Mersin.  Making this trip is like going from Palm Beach to Campbelltown but doing it on public transport.  I had a great day though, sitting in the sun, wandering past antiquities (I will get to that another day) before having a beer and nibblies on the beachfront.

Upon my return though I walked into absolute bedlam.  My sister in law had come from Adana for the weekend and brought her two kids with her.  Daughter has had a difficult time with connecting with these cousins but yesterday it seemed all the kids were playing together nicely until an older cousin turned up.  The first thing that came out of Miss Bitchy-pants mouth was a snide comment and it put Daughter’s back up.  Immediately the shite hit the fan.

Having a big family is really great for Daughter.  Being surrounded by people who love her (well except for Miss Bitchy-pants) is a good thing for a child who grew up with no extended family but I have got to be honest with you – it is doing my feking head in!  My frustration levels are going through the roof with the yelling and arguments, the trials and the tears but the worst part of the whole evening was The Turk.

The Turk gets agitated incredibly easily.  If things don’t go according to his thought pattern he can become quite the asshole.  I have come to recognise his moods and usually put him in his place quite quickly but unfortunately the rest of his family have not yet re-familiarised themselves with the warning signs.  Living here in Mersin there is always something that gets him agitated because he is surrounded by people all the time and frankly as much as I love living here the evenings have become quite unpleasant, to say the least.

My issue is that The Turk (other than his raging temper) is that always takes his family’s side on any issue with Daughter.  He never sticks up for her.  He never says, “it’s OK Daughter, I know you were not at fault.  I will speak to Miss Bitchy-pants parents or speak to Miss Bitchy-pants herself.”  Never.  It kills me.  Witnessing him take Miss Bitchy-pants side every single time over Daughters breaks my heart because it breaks her heart.

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I walked out last night.  We were supposed to have a BBQ (which was moved to Songul’s home due to the chaos that was taking place in our home).  I walked for quite some time.  I had nowhere to go but I knew if I stayed I was going to stay something that I would ultimately regret, and not to The Turk (I never regret anything I say to him).

This morning is a new day.  A bright day (well it is raining but my point remains the same).  Today I will not be drawn into the family drama.  I did make a suggestion to Daughter though, “Next time Miss Bitchy-pants says something nasty write it down and hand it back to her.  Every single time.  It might irritate her, she might screw it up and throw it at you but she might also read it and realise that she is being mean.  And remember Daughter – deep breaths, keep taking deep breaths.”

15 thoughts on “From Good to Bad

  1. You have my sympathies, and i don’t blame you for leaving them to it.
    Family sucks. Sibling rivalry is the pitz. Nieces and nephews (and their offspring) are a pain in the butt. These days I want nothing to do with my family here in the UK. There’s a lot to be said for being a mushroom.
    Today is another day. Keep smiling! :-()

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  2. Unfortunately, family can bring out the best in you and the worst in you.! My father was very similar to your husband. He always took other’s people’s side to over mine. It took me a long time to realize I was actually my father’s favorite. He had higher expectations of me that’s why he always demanded more. And he loved me the most. As an adult child, we have a great relationship, but it was only because he toughened me up.! Good luck.!

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  3. Hubby will mostly stick up for his family in a ‘situation’ which normally concerns their total lack of control or discipline over their little darlings….. As I say – my house, my rules – don’t like it you know where the door is!

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    • Omg that is exactly right. This teen is a spoilt little brat! I remember her jumping on the tv when she was about 4 because it didn’t work! I nearly died. It does my head in.

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  4. It’s taken me a long time (30 yrs) to get used to Turkish families that say the worst things to each other, sentiments I wouldn’t mouth in a hundred years, yet be fine about it a couple of hours later.

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  5. Family is where we learn how to deal with adult life and all the difficulties it throws at us in the future, Unfortunately there will be many more bitchy pants in your little girls life. What she learns now will carry her through the next bitch she meets. Her current miss bitchy pants may be driven by jealousy.. talk to your little girl about this. She may be more pitied than hated. Good luck with this. In laws are really out laws

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