Pride and Prejudice – Turkish Style

For the sake of this post the character of Miss Elizabeth Bennett will be portrayed by Daughter.  Mr Darcy is The Boyfriend and Wickham is The Bad Boy/Stalker.

It was a pretty exciting evening at ours on Friday night.  I made Spaghetti and meatballs.  No that was not the exciting part of our evening.

I am well aware that Miss Bennett has a “boyfriend” whom I have named Mr Darcy.  Sidenote: for illustration purposes I have included this photo of Colin Firth as Mr Darcy (definitely the best Mr Darcy).  I still remember seeing this BBC show the first time and going “Woah” when he climbed out of the pond at Pemberley.  Anyway Mr Darcy in this little post goes to the same school as Miss Bennett.  They call each other boyfriend and girlfriend and she has updated her social status appropriately as “In a Relationship”.  Help me please!

Mr Darcy

So Mr Darcy and Miss Bennett continue to flaunt their relationship at school with wistful glances and perhaps a little hand holding as they walk the corridors between class.  While true love blossoms there is a thorn – a thorn who also has love for Miss Bennett but whose affections are not coveted.  Yes. We have a Wickham to our Mr Darcy (so to speak).

Miss Bennett calls him “The Stalker” but let’s stay in character and call him Wickham.  Wickham is in her class and since school started in September he has attempted to gain her favour with bunches of wildflowers on her desk, the occasional chocolate and, yes, even love letters hidden in her school bag.  Miss Bennett does not covert this attention and, in fact, has told Wickham in no uncertain terms to go and get f*cked (definitely not very ladylike) but Wickham perseveres with his unwanted affections.  He sits behind her in class and draws on her school shirt with a permanent marker – “I love you” in English.  His eyes watch her as she is in the school yard with her friends (or with Mr Darcy) and has recently started following her home from school of an evening.  Very stalker-esque yeah?

Miss Bennett has mentioned Wickham to me before.  She told me that she dislikes Wickham immensely and even told me about an altercation a few weeks back between Wickham and Mr Darcy.  I warned Miss Bennett that she should keep away from Wickham and that perhaps he is not a very good friend.  On a serious note as a parent when do you say that a child has crossed the line, that the child’s intense need for friendship has become too unwanted by your child or that his behaviour makes your child feel scared or feel like a victim?  In Turkey children are not taught the same boundaries that are taught at school in Australia.  Is it considered cute when a boy harasses a little girl and follows her home each day? At what point do you say to your daughter – this kid is a psychopath! Run, don’t walk!?!

Anyway on Friday night Wickham followed Miss Bennett home yet again.  Miss Bennett yelled at him to leave her alone but he continued to follow her.  Miss Bennett proceeded to run the last couple of hundred metres passing her Uncle Vito on the way home.  Vito (being Vito) stopped Miss Bennett and, after learning what had happened, chased after Wickham giving him a piece of his mind followed by a fast whooping.  Wickham ran into the darkness in tears while Miss Bennett rushed home yelling about the embarrassment she has suffered.

After a couple of deep breaths we sat down to our spaghetti and meatballs when we had a knock at the door.  The polis had arrived.  It seemed that the whooping Vito gave Wickham had understandably upset his family who also arrived on our doorstep shortly after the polis.  Wickham began yelling about his love for Miss Bennett and the fact that Mr Darcy had stolen Miss Bennett’s heart.  He explained that he had in fact had dibs on Miss Bennett and Mr Darcy should be reprimanded for his behaviour.  Miss Bennett reply was a fast “F-you” (much to my embarrassment and to the shock of the other adults in the room) while Wickham’s parents yelled at Wickham so furiously that I couldn’t even begin to grasp was what being said.  Moments later Vito came running through the door grasping a large stick (no doubt ready to give Wickham another whooping) while the polis tried in vain to calm the whole crazy down.

After a lot of accusations and finger pointing Wickham has agreed to not follow Miss Bennett as she walks home anymore.  The Turk, in his wisdom, has decided to go to the school (yet again) to ensure that Wickham is appropriately dealt with and Vito has promised to not attack children for no good reason (yes I think it was for good reason).

The Turk and I are hopeful that Wickham has learned his lesson.  He will become merely a blip in our memories as Darcy and Miss Bennett continue their fledgling friendship (should I say relationship(?)) into the future.  Finally we are all hopeful that Vito refrains from chasing children with sticks.

Never a dull moment in our house – for sure.

17 thoughts on “Pride and Prejudice – Turkish Style

  1. Oh my.!! That was an exciting evening.! I’m sure the spaghetti and meatballs were awesome too.! I think you’re daughter has a very good grip on her boundaries.! You should be very proud. What a strange boy to think anyone has any dibs on anyone’s heart.?!? Strange world.! Good luck with the relationship…er friendship I mean.!

    p.s. Colin Firth was the best Darcy.!!


  2. Although as a Westerner I can’t condone the beating, I think everything else that happened was spot-on. Your child told you she felt unsafe, families, the police (not always necessary, but here…), and the school were involved.

    In a general response to your question, I would encourage and child to tell a parent or trusted adult about times when they feel unsafe. Together, you all can come up with a solution that feels comfortable to all. Harassment is NEVER cute.


    • No its not but his parents just made light of it all. Daughter kept screaming “No means NO!” and his father just laughed it off.

      The Turk is off to the school this morning so finger’s crossed Wickham will get moved to another class. I should point out that he has already been suspended once for fighting with Mr Darcy so who knows what will come of it …


      • Keep us posted. And Daughter has it right — hopefully she won’t forget that even as she is being immersed in this culture. Good for The Turk to follow up. I think having a man do it might help?


  3. The way you tell a story is brilliant and had me chuckling for a few hours (until I realised this might all be happening to us soon, have 3 girls the oldest of which is 10!!). I never used to condone fighting but I have now lived here for over 3 years and would not hesitate in slapping some of these people round the back of the head and would happily take a stick to Wickham (the only way some of these neanderthals understand!). Hopefully all is resolved and Wickham has taken the massive hint to f**k off!!!


  4. Wow. While this made me chuckle, as the mum of a 15-year-old girl it also underlined some of my own anxieties.
    My daughter is pretty level-headed but she finds it hard sometimes dealing with and deflecting the attention she receives….not to mention the views of some of our Turkish friends who seem to want to marry her off (usually to one of their relatives) as soon as possible!
    I don’t know how old your daughter is but I’m sure this won’t be the last such issue you have…… Good luck!


    • I think it’s harder for kids who have moved here. They are well aware how it should be and in Daughter’s case she won’t put up with this kids crap. The Turk is back at the school right now as it happened again yesterday but I believe it’s time for some polis interaction.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. You’re so cool! I don’t know how I would feel if my daughter was being harrassed by the little blighter but I guess you need to take it in your stride. What is that saying? Keep your head when everyone around you is losing theirs? I imagine that is you under pressure.

    So good to find someone with original thoughts. Your web site is funny and original. Not many with your quirky sense of humor thats for sure.


  6. Putting this incident in P&P terms is hilarious! The drawing room stories of long ago seem so foreign but, in fact, the same sort of thing was happening as happened to your daughter – just expressed differently. Nice job!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. obviously like your website but you have to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very troublesome to tell the truth however I’ll definitely come back again.


    • Thank you Hassan but just so you know they are not spelling mistakes – the words are in Turkish! My blog says you will learn Turkish with “1000 easy lessons”. Perhaps I should make it a little clearer but I am only up to about 200 lessons right now 🙂


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