You might not have noticed but I haven’t posted for a while. Why have I been so neglectful? Why, oh why, have I left you, my dear followers and friends, hanging for the next episode of action packed drama that is living in Mersin? Well to be honest I haven’t been particularly happy recently.
The Turk and I have been fighting – a lot – and not just a little scrap here and there, no, we have been having a few smack down whoopings that a stoned Hulk Hogan atop a wrecking ball could be proud of.
Yes. Seriously. This is the current synopsis of our relationship. I am not sure if I am Hulk Hogan or perhaps the wrecking ball and I never thought I would see the day that I had to quote Miley Cyrus but over the past weeks and months all The Turk has really achieved is to “wreck me”.
I am not really sure where it all began but since The Turk returned from Australia (after his heart attack) he has had difficulty settling back into the village way of life. He has found fault in everything and everyone (including me) and has made me feel that our relationship is irretrievably broken. To add insult to injury, and despite the fact that the first heart attack should have scared him straight, he has not changed his diet or his habits and in early June was admitted into hospital to have a triple by-pass. Officially he now resembles Frankenstein’s Monster.
Adding to these current woes and health issues is me being diagnosed with “abnormal cervical cells” which has required treatment. My doctor speaks pretty good English, although when he laughs he sounds a little like a hyena on crack, but I am relatively confident with the treatment that I have had and I go back next week for another check. Fingers crossed that the treatment destroyed all the cells and nice, happy, non-cancerous cells have grown in their place.
There have been a few moments over these months that I have sat on the couch in tears and a few moments where I have wanted to pack my bags and flee back to Australia but I cannot because Daughter is so happy here (although I need to update you guys on her most recent boy drama when I get a chance). Being that I am officially (yes it is officially) the Best Mum In The World I also took her to Londra in June for her birthday to a “5SOS” concert. For those of you who have no clue what a “5SOS” is you should Google them because apparently Daughter is going to marry either the Lead Singer (who I suspect could be a world class tool) or the Bass Player (who reminds me of a dopey puppy). The concert itself wasn’t too shabby, they reminded me of a very young INXS, although a little more polished than the INXS that played at Manly Vale Hotel back in the 1980’s. I also got some shopping done in Londra so it was a pretty successful trip for both of us.
We also chuffed off to Rome for a week which was lovely (although the restoration work on the Trevi Fountain is STILL NOT finished! How fecking long does it take?) and finally for a break in Istanbul.
As you can see there should be quite a bit to blog about but my sadness and health concerns have unfortunately overtaken my mental functions and writing proved very difficult over the past weeks. I will be back to writing a little more often and hopefully I will return to a more comedic writing style which is how I would normally feel. I am also going to re-jiggy the blog a little bit as I have had a lot of requests for more touristic information on Mersin (as there is limited information out there) and its surrounds so if I go off-line in the near future don’t distress it is merely my ridiculous attempts of navigating the web page tools (which will no doubt prove to be a little difficult for my pea-sized intellect).
And in case you are wondering yes The Turk is still smoking!
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janeyinmersin 
First of all I hope everything is ok with your health having been in the same situation not with my bits lol but cancer none the less and of course your in for another rollicking because you have been missed
Get well soon and carry on writing
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Get well soon we missed you and your humour
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I have missed your posts and I’m really sorry to hear about your trials. I really hope things are getting back on an even keel and you will be keeping us entertained regularly once again…… (I haven’t written for ages either, but my reason is very simple – laziness!) Health and happiness to you, and take care. x
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I admire your honesty enormously and do hope you and The Turk can work through the horrors. Anyone who thinks a successful long term relationship is down to luck has clearly never been in one. It’s hard work but if both parties want the same result, ie being happy together, it’s worth the trauma of arguing for your country! Fingers crossed about your health report too. Your posts usually make me laugh out loud so I hope that positivity helps you through this unhappy period.
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Hi Janey, I’ve missed your posts and I’m so sorry to hear it’s because you’ve been going through such a difficult time. I wish you strength and good health. Take care and thinking of you. x
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Hi Sue, fingers crossed I will be back to my less than PG rated self very shortly
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Glad you posted. It’s been so long I was wondering if your body gave out and the rest of you was now living in another dimension. 🙂
Why do men do that? The answer to every set-back in life seems to be 1 of 3 things: “That heart thing is not going to happen to me (again)” or “Screw it, I’ll do what I want” or worse yet, “If I have to be miserable, everyone else is going to be miserable, too.”
Sorry to hear that you’re caught up in the foibles of macho land.
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Way worse than man-flu!
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I feel for you right now. I got really sick last year.Had to have brain surgery and there is a lot of heart problems. My soon to be husband then had a mini stroke. He stayed out of work for longer than I did after a full blown paralyzing stroke. I dragged myself back because Im the main breadwinner. I was admitted to hospital again this year with suspected mini strokes. I knew it wasn’t but doctors wouldn’t listen to me. They now admit it wasn’t stroke but episodes possibly caused by the surgery/medication. My future husband is so angry. But he is really good at making me feel its my fault. I need to lose weight but he cooks high fat/salt foods and freaks out when I wont eat it. I gave up smoking to save my life. He gave up but is making us all suffer for it. He wont take his meds. I have given up the things that I used to love too. I understand why you stopped blogging.(bet you wonder why Im prepared to marry him. Its 4 months away so anything could happen) Sometimes you just need to BE. We are in the background supporting you. Only come back to us when you feel like it.
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Oh my goodness! Jennifer I am sending a huge hug your way. Yes these men really know how to demoralise us don’t they? Good luck, let me know how you go.
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I do not know if your spouse had counselling about his heart surgery, my father had this surgery 15 years ago and he and my mom were told what to expect afterwards. There is a change of behaviour or character in the person because they basically survived a death challenge and almost crossed over. So the personality can change become more difficult and quarrelsome for no reason. This is one side effect that needs to be explained and understood. My father is following his diet and does not smoke. For long term survival that is important. I can also understand your husband’s culture shock he has returned from a very different world to one he was trying to escape and that can be difficult. As for your health I hope all is well and don’t hesitate to seek another opinion outside Turkey. Health is always no.1 because without it there is not much else. Hope your daughter understands what is going on, it can be difficult on kids and bewildering and may require some sacrifice on their part another concept children do not always grasp easily. Best of luck to you.
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No there really isnt anything that could be considered counselling here in Mersin (or perhaps there is but I am unaware of it). I did read an awful lot about what has happened to The Turk and I acknowledge that he really has cheated death (even though he still smokes which I find deplorable).
Daughter has been a trooper throughout everything over the past few months. I was a mess when my results came in but did not want her to know about it. The Turk was a bit of a trooper then I must admit. We need to be very gentle with Daughter as if she gets too much stress her Alopecia areata may return.
Thank you for your words.
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I am so sorry to hear about your health concerns (and the Turks). Fingers crossed for a speedy recovery.!! And relationships woes bite. They weren’t kidding about that for better or worse part were they.?? Thinking of you and can’t wait to hear about Daughter’s boy troubles 🙂
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Hang on it there.
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I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through. It is a lot!
I will have my finger crossed that everything will be ok again (health and relationship). I wish you the best!
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I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through. It is a lot!
I will have my finger crossed that everything will be ok again (health and relationship). I wish you the best!
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Janey, Knock Knock….I was so close to coming to say Hello!
I was in Turkey 9-23rd May and 16-30 June. Last week we flew from Antalya to Kayseri and when I was in Nigde Cappadocia visiting Turkish friends and family.They took us out to Urgup one day and Gorome the next day. On the third day they asked if I wanted to go to Mersin, however it was getting late and I was told that it was a 2 hour drive away, and they may not get back in time for Ramadan around 8.15pm. I really was going to contact you to ask if you wanted to meet up. (However there were 7 of us in the car)
Anyways, I truly am saddened to hear about your sadness and health concerns. I am also glad that you decided to do a post about it,, this in itself is sometimes therapeutic.
You say you will be back soon writing in your “comedic writing style”, but to be honest,
I along with others, am interested in everything that you write, life is very rarely a bed of roses continually for everyone,( I know, in a marriage for 38 years) and others will have empathy with you and your situation, and can offer help, encouragement and support. I look forward to EVERY post you write… The Good ,The Bad & the Ugly.
When I returned home to England, I had over 3.000 emails (mostly Junk) BUT I trawled through them to find YOURS, it was the first one I opened.
I know that at the moment it is difficult for you, If you do not lay down, people cannot walk all over you. Also as you say you do not feel able to remove yourself from the situation as your daughter is so happy. Although she may not witness all of the feuding between you and the Turk, she will sense the overlying atmosphere, children as you know are very sensitive. I am speaking from experience as a child of 10 – 15, I witnessed many arguments calm and furious between my parents, and over the years it made me very unhappy.
At 50 years old I decided to “PURSUE PEACE” at all costs….. still trying to reach that goal, 8 years later. Make time for yourself “ME TIME” even if it is just sitting under a tree reading a book, a walk along the beach, talking with old friends, a weekend away once a month, ( Maybe take up Alan’s offer!) something to look forward to.
If you cannot change the situation, change the way you think about it. No one can control your mind. Plug in your ipod and earphones to drown out the daily clatter and Yak Yak Yak, if it gets too much. Or go out side and just SCREAM. Every one will scatter quickly. if that fails just drink a bottle of red.
DO NOT FORGET THE POWER OF PRAYER!
Another thing you could consider is inviting one of your best friends from home to visit you, sometimes having a friendly native face helps, and will be very uplifting for you, and its amazing how everyone reacts differently when a guest is at home, and they have to behave. (if only for a short while)
I see that your last comment is ” The Turk is still smoking”, I do know how addictive it is, especially in stressful situations, My husband watched his father die of Lung Cancer and STILL he smokes, I watched my Mother fight a 2 year battle with Lung Cancer before she died….still smoking! Please do not stop trying to persuade him to stop smoking for your daughters sake.
Janey, as always thank you for your words, your honesty, your sincerity, and your endurance under difficult circumstances.
Do not lose touch with your soul, or let your Spirit be crushed…..
( See Whitney Huston’s you tube video singing ” I didn’t know my own strength” ) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xh-zeOBXBw
remember this.
Your tears WILL dry,
Your heart WILL mend,
your scars WILL heal,
and YOU WILL DANCE AGAIN.
Love and Blessings to you, your daughter and the Turk.
Jan
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I watched my father die of lung cancer – it was a secondary cancer to melonoma – and it broke my heart. The idea of Daughter going thru this distresses me greatly.
Shane I wouldn’t have been in Mersin would have loved to meet you Jan, I always appreciate your messages. X
Hope you enjoyed yr time, we must sit down next time you are over.
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Janey
Do Not lose touch with your soul….
Do not lose sight of your dreams….
You may crash down,
You may stumble,
But….. You will NOT crumble!
YOU are NOT built to Break….
watch for inspiration
Jan X
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Glad to see some writings from you Janey. What a lot has been going on, most importantly I hope the health issues have settled down and you have the all clear.
My brother gave up smoking and his brandies a few years ago. I am convinced he had a health scare but is not telling me. He’s 71 this month and had been smoking since he was 13.
Been thinking of you in your absence. Take care.
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