Do you ever shut up?

You know that thing where you realize you are talking too much, but you can’t seem to stop yourself from talking, and then you just keep talking and talking and talking and in your head you keep telling yourself to shut the feck up but somehow your mouth doesn’t get the message and then you start to panic because you realize how annoying it must be for the other person but you just keep talking and talking and talking? Well this happens to me all the time and I really need to make it stop!

pap smear

This time my verbal diarrhoea happened while I was having my pap smear.  I hate having pap smears, every woman hates having pap smears.  It is a well-documented fact. I put them off as long as possible which is probably how I got myself into this mess in the first place.  Ladies – don’t neglect your pap smear!

Anyhow, so living in Mersin is, of course, difficult when there is no one who speaks your language so visiting my gynaecologist is a great excuse to blab away in my mother language and know that at least one person understands me.  My gyno was down the other end nodding his head so I think he was listening, actually I don’t even care if he was listening, but told him all about my trip to London and The Turk’s operation and even my dolmus ride into the city.  I was just about to start on my next topic of conversation (whether or not to change Daughter’s school) when he shot his head up over my flabby stomach and said, “Do you ever shut up?”

Oh my!

That seemed a little harsh from the man who sounds like a half crazed vampire when he laughs but … whatever.  I lay meekly in silence trying to wish myself away pretty much anywhere else while he finished up and wait for the order to hop off the examination table.

Dead set.  I swear.  This is exactly what he sounds like!

We left it with these words, “You are more difficult to examine than a Turkish woman”.  Well thank you sir, I take THAT as a compliment!

Oh and for those wondering, the tests came back fine.  I need to go back more frequently for check ups (and I will) but right now I am feeling fine.

4 thoughts on “Do you ever shut up?

  1. . . used to be the same for us blokes, too, you know – well, not exactly the same – sort of arse-about-face really with the old prostate. We’ve moved on from the latex and vasaline (‘vas’, oh, gawd!) in recent years and now Philips or Hewlet-Packard or somebody has invented this non-invasive machinery/technology – I think gynaecologists are a bunch of Ladites, sorry, Luddites!


  2. Talking non-stop. I think may be it can be put down to being nervous, or uncomfortable in any given situation,
    Whenever I have to visit the dentist or like you go for a pap-smear I talk incessantly. Took me years to really understand why I did this. Seems to somehow take your mind of what is actually happening…. and that you really don’t want it to be happening. If you stop talking, you are more likely to be concentrating on the un-comfortableness of someone peering up your fanny.
    Anyways….. thanks again for this very entertaining blog and video link.
    Blessings to all.


  3. Happens me every week at physio- my mouth just opens and anything can just float out- I only stop when the pain is insufferable and then I only stop because I stop breathing- the physio tells me that’s the only way she knows it’s really painful and a clue to ease off! As long as I’m talking drivel it’s all good- don’t know how I’d react if she as good as told me to shut it😇


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