After a string of messages from you guys about The Turk’s most recent blustering crapfest in “Grow The Feck Up” I realise that he really is a wealth of ridiculous quotes and is constantly sprouting off nonsensical crap. I really do not utilise his blathering often enough and, as I have been hasta and confined to the couch for a few days, I have had the opportunity to experience more of The Turk than any sane person should have to. Thankfully I feel the need to share absolutely everything with you so you will appreciate a few of his most recent crapalicious spewings about life, love and everything in between.
Daily conversation – Him: Has the dog done a bok? Me: Yes. Him: Was it big? Me: Would you like to see it?
Stupidity – People are being stupid today. I will not speak to anymore of them.
Professing his Love – Him: Darling, I lurrrvvveee you. Me: OK. Him: What do you say? Me: Thank you. Him: This is the reason why I will leave you for Cameron Diaz. She will appreciate me. Me: I think she just got married. Him: I hate you.
Religion – You should pray to Beyonce.
A compliment – Him: You look nice. Me: *smiles sweetly*. Him: Imagine how good you would look if you were thin.
Movies – Him: Where is Al Pacino? Me: What are you watching? Daughter: Twilight.
His funeral – If I die (me: If?) can you play this on repeat. (It was “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus).
Walking through our salon – Him: Did you make me çay (tea)? Me: Do you see çay? Him: You are a good wife. Me: I know. (Wait 10 seconds). Him: Would you like çay? Me: Thank you.
Watching me while I yell at him – You look like that girl from The Exorcist but with nicer eyes.
Squeezing my bum – Your ass is like a pillow made of fat.
Pride and Prejudice (the BBC miniseries) – They stare. They talk. They walk. What is this never ending pile of bok?
To Daughter (on love) – All men are assholes. Daughter: You’re a man. Him: *shrugs*
After reading these back I realise that The Turk may just be as mad as a hatter! I might have to make this a regular post because these few juicy snippets are only over the past few days. Imagine if I really started to pay attention!
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Janey with us both being in the lovely country that Turkey is the comments seem even funnier .
I see madness every day and I hear madness everyday from our Turkish friends
Yes they are a marvellous bunch of people aren’t they? We are very lucky!
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. . I used to think that insanity only affected a small % of the population – then I moved here and learned that I wasn’t as alone as I thought!
Ooohhhh Janey, it brings it all back to me!! The complete and total craziness of a Turkish husband 😒
Yep – know where you are coming from.
My daily “pick-me-up” from Janey.
This is sooooooooooo funny.
You should seriously consider doing a regular post on this subject.
I do not think that it is just in Turkey, I think that it is men in general!
I am off now to find a tissue as I have tramlines of black mascara running down my face due to tears of laughter.
Once again Janey. thanks for keeping it real.
I love reading ur blogs always bring a smile to my face😊
These are glorious.!! My favorite is “all men are assholes”.!! hahahaha… Though the making tea one is pretty good too 🙂
LOL! I think you’re on to something! I was laughing so hard, except for the times I was seething at the “thin” statements.
The Sunday Sayings with the Turk comedy blog.
You cannot help but laugh at him even when the words fall under the category of “justifiable homicide” … and my ass is a pillow made of fat. This is factual!
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Those are pearls of man’s wisdom! I realise I ask the same movie question to my girlfriend, except that I ask for explosions rather than where Al Pacino is.
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