The Turk and I have an extremely volatile relationship. We are hot and cold. Yes and no. Up and down (no it’s not a Katy Perry song). For those of you who know The Turk personally already know that he is an extremely difficult man to live with. He is completely OCD. Everything must be spotless. Everything has its place. I live with a more relaxed view of things. Shit happens so clean it up whenever. He also has a lot of vices. Things that he cannot seem to control and, despite me giving him ultimatum after ultimatum he will not, or cannot, change his ways.
We have been living together for 15 years now (married for 14). It has not been easy. And it’s not that I don’t love him, because I do (well most of the time anyway). We are just two extremely different people who are, for whatever reason, like oil and water to each other.
I’ve received a few messages from you guys wanting a clarification. I have dropped hints on a few occasions (my terrace / his terrace) and the truth of the matter is this – The Turk and I no longer live together. Daughter and I have our own apartment upstairs and he continues to live downstairs and so far this new arrangement is working out just fine.
We are not getting a divorce, we just happen to live separately. I did ask him if he wanted a divorce and, of course, he said no, “I will never divorce you. Seni çok seviyorum tatlım.” Ugh! I mean its 2017, Brad Pitt is finally free of that skinny brunette … and he’s on my List so if the stars would just align then we could finally be together! As it should be!
The Turk and I still spend time together, one might even say too much time together, and we still make decisions as a couple but our evenings are spent separately (unless we are at a family event of course). We breakfast together every day. The Turk still makes us his world famous pizza on a Sunday night and I still make him chicken cacciatore or his favourite meal, Tepsi Kebab. We still sit each evening on his terrace and have a glass of wine together (clearly I am an Enabler) and talk about our day and go over our plans for the next day.
There is no more fighting (well less fighting) and little things, like The Turks constant need to tidy teenage Daughter’s bedroom, are a non-issue. And anyone with a teenager will tell you – do not go into their bedroom. You will regret it. Or maybe get sucked into a vortex of dirty clothes and rubbish.
Speaking of tidying up my relaxed view on cleaning still sends The Turk crazy and he has been sneaking up to ours to clean when we are out. I left the camera on the other day and got to enjoy a comedic film of The Turk moving a bowl on the dining table three times before being entirely satisfied with its final resting place. In the past watching him fuss would have sent me over the edge but now? Now I merely smile.
I’ve got to say this though … our relationship has never been better. Everything about this is better. He is happier. I am happier. Daughter is very happy. The sex is better. The tension is gone. The stress is non-existent. Had I had known that this was the way to have a perfect marriage I would have gotten on board years ago and don’t worry I am sure that every other post will be about me whining about The Turk driving me crazy still … ’cause I’m sure that will never change.
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